11. Wow….that seemed fast…..
12. I got a better job at Lockheed…
13. Management says…
14. Sorry, the new equipment didn’t get budgetted.
15. What do you mean that wasn’t a copy?
16. It didn’t do that a minute ago…
17. Where’s the GUI on this thing?
18. Damn, and I just bought that pop…
19. Where’s the DIR command?
20. The drive ate the tape but that’s OK, I brought my screwdriver.
21. I cleaned up the root partition and now there’s lots of free space.
22. What’s this “any” key I’m supposed to press?
23. Do you smell something?
24. What’s that grinding sound?
25. I have never seen it do *that* before…
26. I think it should not be doing that…
27. I remember the last time I saw it do that…
28. You might as well all go home early today …
29. My leave starts tomorrow.
30. Ooops.
31. Hmm, maybe if I do this…
32. “Why is my “rm *.o” taking so long?”
33. Hmmm, curious…
34. Well, my files were backed up.
35. What do you mean you needed that directory?
36. What do you mean /home was on that disk? I umounted it!
37. Do you really need your home directory to do any work?
38. Oracle will be down until 8pm, but you can come back in and finish your work when it comes up tonight.
39. I didn’t think anybody would be doing any work at 2am, so I killed your job.
40. Yes, I chowned all the files to belong to pvcs. Is that a problem to you?
41. We’re standardizing on AIX.
42. Wonder what this command does?
43. What did you say your (l)user name was…?
44. You did what to the floppy???
45. Sorry, we deleted that package last week…
46. NO! Not that button!
47. Uh huh……”nu -k $USER”.. no problem….sure thing…
48. Sorry, we deleted that package last week…
49. [looks at workstation] “Say, what version of DOS is this running?”
50. Oops! (said in a quiet, almost surprised voice)
51. YEEEHA!!! What a CRASH!!!
52. What do you mean that could take down the whole network?
53. What’s this switch for anyways…?
54. Tell me again what that ‘-r’ option to rm does
55. Say, What does “Superblock Error” mean, anyhow?
56. If I knew it wasn’t going to work, I would have tested it sooner.
57. Was that your directory?
58. System coming down in 0 min….
59. The backup procedure works fine, but the restore is tricky!
60. Hey Fred, did you save that posting about restoring filesystems with vi and a toothpick? More importantly, did you print it out?
61. OH, SH*T! (as they scrabble at the keyboard for ^c).
62. The sprinkler system isn’t supposed to leak is it?
63. It is only a minor upgrade, the system should be back up in a few hours. (This is said on a monday afternoon.)
64. I think we can plug just one more thing in to this outlet strip with out triping the breaker.
65. What is all this I here about static charges destroying computers?
66. I found this rabbit program that is supposed to test system performance and I have it running now.
67. Ummm… Didn’t you say you turned it off?
68. The network’s down, but we’re working on it. Come back after diner. (Usually said at 2200 the night before thesis deadline…)
69. Ooops. Save your work, everyone. FAST!
70. Boy, it’s a lot easier when you know what you’re doing.
71. I hate it when that happens.
72. And what does it mean ‘rm: .o: No such file or directory’?
73. Why did it say ‘/bin/rm: not found’?
74. Nobody was using that file /vmunix, were they?
75. You can do this patch with the system up…
76. What happens to a Hard Disk when you drop it?
77. The only copy of Norton Utilities was on THAT disk???
78. Well, I’ve got a backup, but the only copy of the restore program was on THAT disk….
79. What do mean by “fired”?
80. hey, what does mkfs do?
81. where did you say those backup tapes were kept?
82. …and if we just swap these two disc controllers like this…
83. don’t do that, it’ll crash the sys…….. SHIT
84. what’s this hash prompt on my terminal mean?
85. dd if=/dev/null of=/vmunix
86. find /usr2 -name nethack -exec rm -f {};
87. now it’s funny you should ask that, because I don’t know either
88. Any more trouble from you and your account gets moved to the 750
89. Ooohh, lovely, it runs SVR4
90. SMIT makes it all so much easier……
91. Can you get VMS for this Sparc thingy?
92. I don’t care what he says, I’m not having it on my network
93. We don’t support that. We won’t support that.
94. …and after I patched the microcode…
95. You’ve got TECO. What more do you want?
96. We prefer not to change the root password, it’s an nice easy one
97. Just add yourself to the password file and make a directory…
98-100 are being restored off of the back-up drive and will be available shorty. (Trust us, they’re funny.)

You know you’re from Philly when:

You punctuate every sentence with, “You know” at least twice.

You want olive oil, not mayonnaise on your “hoagie”.

You hate the Redskins

You hate Dallas.

You realize that your favorite dessert is “wooder ice”.

You find yourself using “yo” and “youse guys” when talking long-distance to family members.

You know how to spell Schuylkill.

You pronounce ACME “ACK-A-ME”.

You think that $2,500 a year for insurance on a 1977 Toyota Corolla is a bargain.

You find youself at a nice restaurant thinking “I wonder if they have cheese steaks?”

You sleep soundly through gunfire and ambulance sirens.

You visit New York and are impressed by how clean it is.

You can’t eat french fries without Cheese Whiz.

You call sprinkles on top of your ice cream cone “jimmies”.

You don’t think Wawa sounds funny.

You snub a cheese steak that isn’t on an Amoroso roll.

Your parents, brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles all live on the same block.

You know who Jim O’Brien is and how he died.

You can’t imagine lunch without a Tastycake.

You’re still not sure about Jerry Penacolli.

A vacation at the Jersey shore (pronounced “Down the shoore”) is better than going to an island (there’s more stuff to do, plus you know everybody.)

You know where to find the Rocky statue.

You know that only tourists go to Geno’s, Pat’s and Jim’s for authentic cheese steaks.

You only go if you’re drunk and it’s 3:00 a.m.

You can make a cheese steak and you’ve never been taught

You’ve never been to the Liberty Bell, or the only time you were there was on a class trip in third grade.

You know what and where “Boathouse Row” is

You will buy a pretzel from anyone, anywhere without even thinking of where it was – or where his hands have been.

You can’t imagine a breakfast without scrapple.

You don’t know what a sub is, but you think they are trying to describe an imitation HOAGIE.

You aren’t a bandwagon Sixers fan�you loved them when they sucked, and before they had A.I.

You go to The Gallery or South Street in the summer time just to chill.

You have the pizza place on speed dial.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Philadelphia.

As you can see it started opening tons of VNC connections, since it kept looping around. Kind of like holding two mirrors together. I guess it would keep going forever, except the computer would eventually crash. I closed the first vnc windows pretty quickly, and everything was back to normal. I wouldn’t recommend doing this, but I wanted to see what would happen.

You’ve never referred to Philadelphia as anything but “Philly.” And New Jersey has always been “Jersey.”

You refer to Pennsylvania as “PA” (pronounced Peeay). How many other states do that?

You know what “Punxsutawney Phil” (A Ground Hog) is, and what it means if he sees his shadow.

The first day of buck and the first day of doe season are school holidays.

You can use the phrase “fire hall wedding reception” and not even bat an eye.

You can’t go to a wedding without hearing the “Chicken Dance,” at least 1 Polka and either an Italian song (sung in Italian,) or “Hava Nagila.”

At least 5 people on your block have electric “candles” in all or most of their windows all year long.

You know what a “Hex sign” is.

You know what a “State Store” is, and your out of state friends find it incredulous that you can’t purchase liquor at the mini-mart.

You own only three condiments “salt, pepper and Heinz ketchup.”

Words like “hoagie,” “crick,” “chipped ham,” “sticky buns,” “shoo-fly pie,” “pirogues” and “pocketbook” actually mean something to you.

You can eat cold pizza (even for breakfast) and know others who do the same. (Those from NY find this “barbaric.”)

You not only have heard of Birch Beer, but you know it comes in several colors: Red, White, Brown, Gold.

You know several places to purchase or that serve Scrapple, Summer Sausage (Lebanon Bologna), and Hot Bacon Dressing.

You can eat a cold soft pretzel from a street vendor without fear and enjoy it.

You know the difference between a cheese steak & a pizza steak sandwich and a Primanti’s, and know that you can’t get a really good one outside PA.

You live for summer, when street and county fairs signal the beginning of funnel cake season.

Customers ask the waitress for “dippy eggs” for breakfast.

You know that Blue Ball, Bird-in-Hand, Beaver, Moon, Virginville, Paradise, Mars, and Slippery Rock are PA towns.

You know what a township, borough, and commonwealth is.

You can identify drivers from New York, New Jersey, Ohio, or other neighboring states by their unique and irritating driving habits.

A traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a horse-drawn carriage on the highway in Lancaster County.

You know several people who have hit deer more than once.

You carry jumper cables in your car and your female passengers know how to use them.

You still keep kitty litter,starting fluid, de-icer, or a snow brush in your trunk, even if you live in the South.

Driving is always better in winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

As a kid you built snow forts and leaf piles that were taller than you were.

Your graduating class consisted of mostly Polish, German, & Italian names.

“You guys” and “yuz” is a perfectly acceptable reference to a group of men & women.

You know how to respond to the question “Djeetyet?”(Did you eat yet?)

You learned to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, Bala Cynwyd, Conshohocken, & Monongahela.

You know what a “Mummer” is, and are disappointed if you can’t catch at least highlights of the parade.

You actually understand these jokes and send them on to other Pennsylvanians. Plus friends who you want to know why you think the way you do.